My Birth Mother found me

Well on 11/11/11 i was on my Facebook while speaking to my best friend Ann on the phone and all of a sudden i received a friend request from a woman named Cher ,I had never heard of her before and we had no mutual friends. So i looked up her profile and it said she worked with people as an investigator looking for birth parents, or children that were put up for adoption and other family members you may be looking for. So i wrote her a message saying i dont know who you are or why you have friended me but its strange because i am adopted and Looking for my birth mother due to medical issues. Cher responded to me by saying the reason she was looking for me was because she felt she had found my birth mother and she has been looking for me and she left her phone number. At this point i had knots in my stomach, i hung up with Ann and called Cher immediately. We talked for awhile and discussed the day of my birth and matched things up, she also sent pictures to my birth mother of me and lila my birth mom said that our resemblance was overwhelming. Cher was 100% sure we were a match in her mind and sent me the link to lila.  I had been born in Columbus Ohio in 1971 on Dec 16th. I was a c-section and i was born at 11:06 am. I had been told since birth by my adoptive mom that i was adopted and that i had a older brother and my mom was divorced. All of these things fit, also the fact that my adoption was set up by the doctor and a lawyer it was a private adoption. I was also told growing up that i was Italian and Greek. This ended up not being true , after contacting lila i found that i am native American Indian (Blackfoot and Cherokee Indian) i am also Welsch, Irish and German.                                                Lila and i hit it off from the moment we talked and have so many things in common and also alot of physical similarities and health issues. We also look exactly alike. I found out i have a large family and two brothers. One is 42 and the other is 37 I am 40. Lila told me she had been married at 16 and had my older brother Bryan and than she divorced. So when she was pregnant with me she was single with a 2 yr old and wanted me to have a better life she was only 19. A few years later she met her 2nd husband Butch and had my younger brother bill. She said she has thought of me everyday and regretted giving me up.  Lila was surprised at my reaction, i was not angry and bitter and i thanked her for having me and not getting an abortion. After having children myself i understood how hard it must have been to give me up. She said she wasnt able to hold me or see me and she had a really hard time with the adoption, and i believe her . I was surprised that she had found me but i was happy . Happy to know i had brothers and a large family and just to know where i was from and my background. Lila now lives in Florida and we talk on the phone for 6 hrs hours some nights. She has become my best friend and there is alot of love between us and i cant wait to see her in person. She is so caring and warm and a lil fiesty like me, we have the same personality and sense of humor and i cant wait to be with her finally.  I did tell my mother and my children. I have a son who is 21 and a daughter 17 and a lil girl who is 7. No one took the news well except my 7 yr old who cant wait to be in Lilas life. Everyone who has seen Lilas picture says we look alike, the only one who doesnt is my mother , she says we look nothing alike, and gets angry when i speak about her. She says you dont even know if thats your mom!!!!! I know it sounds funny but Lila and i know, we can feel it, besides the fact that we look alike, everything else adds up. The hospital i was born in is called Doctors North and it is a osteopath hospital and there arent many births there. Also most babies ,especially babies put up for adoption were born at the university hospital and since mine was a private adoption and her Dr was an osteopath the chances of us not being a match are slim to none. I was also a breech birth and an emergency c-section.  Its very upsetting that my family is not supportive of me and they should be happy for me. I also found out that my great grandmother and grandmother have Rheumatoid Arthritis and that is what i suffer from, i have it severe, i got it after my third child in my early 30s and thats also when my grandmothers got it as well. I also have a thyroid disease and i found out that there are thyroid problems in the family and my older brother had problems when he was small. They also have diabetes throughout the family and heart disease, I do have issues with my heart but thank god no diabetes. I have learned so much and things i needed to know. Why isnt anyone happy for me especially my older children? I just dont understand. My friends are all happy for me and they all say we look like twins. Lila has shown me so much love and is concerned about my health. Which honestly no one in my family here really cares too much or even asks if im ok or need help and alot of times i do but i dont ask.                      When i have infusions Lila calls to make sure im ok, she also calls to remind me to take my medicine and she hates that i live so far away, shes in florida and truly wants me to move there so she can help me out when i dont feel well. I can feel how much she loves me and i feel the same for her, i thank god she is in my life. I finally feel like i have family who cares for me , and its not out of guilt its out of love. If my mother here calls me once a week its alot and never asks how i am. I know that from our long talks she feels horrible that i had a bad child hood. My step father was the biggest asshole ever, and i was punished most of my life. He was god awful mean and my mother stayed with him . Ill get into that later. Lila feels that she should have kept me because i wouldnt have had the horrible childhood that i had, she thought i was going to drs and id be wealthy and have this great life, her dr said he knew the adoptive parents and he didnt. So she felt she was doing something wonderful for a couple that he knew, she felt reassured. My adoptive father and my mom (edy) lived in NY and they were divorced by the time i was 4. He was an alcoholic and hit my mother and so she left him. I can understand how Lila feels because she didnt want that for me, and than my mom married a bigger asshole who made my life a living hell.  Right now being disabled i feel very alone and i thank god for my little girl who is so loving to me, she is my side kick and is such a good kid who helps me with little things, she wants to. I am ok , i take care of my children and im not crippled but there are days that i am in pain and very tired, but i do what i have to do for my children and push myself.  There are times i can use help but my 21 yr old is in college and works and has never been very concerned. My17 yr old will not lift a finger to help around the house or ask if i need anything so i dont even ask. she is very involved in her boyfriend (who i must say is a great guy and he loves her very much , shes lucky to have him) I love my daughter very much but she has never cared very much . shes very lazy about herself and lays around so forget about asking for help . I dont know what happens when they become teens because she was such a wonderful child. When she gets older hopefully things will change but she doesnt want direction from a parent and is very nasty to me, everything she says is with an attitude and then she will say that im mean to her... Which is funny because i dont yell at her or say too much anymore because shell start a fight.  I tend to think she has a depression issue but you cant mention it or ask her to see a Dr because she gets offended and its not intended that way because alot of people need medicine and her father definately has a mental health issue, i think he is bipolar and so does she but he isnt diagnosed. I dont know why she is so angry all the time. I feel bad because her father has always had a drug problem and he is mentally abusive. But i never stayed in my abusive marriage , i got out many years ago. Shes always remained close to him and protects him. I dont know why. At any rate shes an angry child at least to me. with everyone else shes sweet . We were like best friends until 2 yrs ago and she loved having her friends around me and had sleep overs constantly, Her friends all call me mom. My children have never been punished or hit or abused in anyway. Shes never even done a chore and if i asked shed ignore me.. I was so upset because when i told her about Lila i thought shed be happy and support me and honestly she looked at me and said oh so now that shes in your life im suppose to jump for joy? Shes not my family !!! I was shocked and hurt..The funny thing is she always complained about my mom and said shed never stay with her and that she couldnt stand her. now she kisses her ass because shes going to buy her a car and learned she can get thinks from her.The only time shes nice to me is when she wants something especially money. Im just very hurt and i wish that i had a support system. Thank god for Lila because i have found that in her. She is an excellent mother and sometimes i wish i did get raised by her, but atleast i have her now.  Dont get me wrong i love my mom (edy) but i resent  her for the way she treats me with my illness and that she let my stepfather treat me so bad growing up. Up until 2 years ago i worked 3 jobs at a time. I worked 13 hr shifts over nights in a hospital and sacrificed sleep to watch my 7 yr old when she was little to be with her and my other kids during the day and to save my 2nd husband and i 1200.00 a month on day care. We ran a landscaping business together and i worked at the hospital, i did bar tending and catering, and i worked for the town doing property taxes and i got my real estate license and i took classes to do income taxes and i did property management.  I busted my ass my whole life , even when i was ill, until i couldnt work anymore i kept ending up in the hospital . Id get run down and than id relapse. Now im on permanent disability , there is no way i can work between getting infusions every month and being so run down i always catch something like strep throat. and being tired from my illness and im in so much pain at night i cant sleep. I also have fibromyalgia, and sleep apnea and several other things that go hand in hand with the RA. I wish i knew the answers but i know i am a good mother and ive always been there for my children and even now i do alot for her. Im always here for her to fall back on and shes just so mean.. I give up . Id love to go to counseling with her but she wont . I know im venting but i do love my daughter very much....  All i know is i need to be happy and i want to be in my birth mothers life and i should not feel bad about that. I want to know my brothers and grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins. Am i being selfish. Lila loves me and wants to be there for me, and the mother i have doesnt give me the time of day or try to help me when i need her. I have to do what my heart tells me and my little girl wants to know her blood relatives very much. Everyone will have to get over it. Lila and i have sent the papers into ohio to have the files unsealed and they can tell us for sure that we are a match, although we have no doubt in our minds and hearts.  well enough for now i will continue with another part of my life tomorrow, Thank you for reading my story